OneTakeFilms
Greg Ivan Smith
Filmmaker, Screenwriter,
Actor, Editor
Haikus Updated Daily!
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1. "BILL & SUSAN L."
Midnight friskiness?
Nope, that’s just forty live snakes,
Under your duvet.
2. "JORDAN P."
Found murdered victims,
With broken dowels protruding.
We’ll know it was you.
3. "ERIC H."
Bitter tiki drink.
You grasp what’s happened too late,
Full paralysis.
4. "JEN L."
New vintage glasses,
Make you see the massacre,
By former owner.
5. "BRIAN W."
Ironic life twist:
You find you’re buried under,
The Dodgers’ home plate.
6. "ALEXIS B."
You’ll miss your sweet dream,
When you wake up in the trunk,
Of scary clown’s car.
7. "CARRIE P."
You wake up screaming.
All your vampire knowledge,
Does nothing for ghosts.
8. "CHIP P. & JULIE P."
Your final party,
Treat your guests to special soup.
Thirty friends found dead.
9. "TARAH F."
That scratching you heard?
You have checked the wrong closet.
Expect pure pop-out.
10. "BRYAN C."
Back on stage again.
This time hooked to spinning wheel,
Entrails hit the crowd.
11. “ANONYMOUS”
Petite but so strong,
Helps you escape from that well,
And fight the killer.
12. “KATE B.”
Thought you were prepared,
As Supernatural fan?
Zombies still eat you.
13. “DON’T TOUCH MY COOKIES”
Nobody suspects,
You took your inspiration,
All from Sweeney Todd.
14. “ANDREA D.”
As strong as you are,
Who knew that your theater skills,
Would help you fight ghouls.
15. “TOM K.”
Your diet secret:
The creature that you swallowed,
Eats you from within.
16. “ERICA & MILES C.”
New exciting move!
Too bad that new house of yours,
Is filled with demons.
17. “BRENT R.”
You fooled the police,
By removing your partial,
When eating victims.
18. “DOUG W.”
Famous director.
They haven’t found your snuff films,
So many dead blondes.
19. “THE ANDREWS FAMILY”
New distillery.
That tasting you took part in,
Left you all undead.
20. “TERESA H.”
You realized too late,
Standing over their bodies,
YOU were hypnotised.
21. “THE G. FAMILY”
You ignored the growls,
Coming from that one closet,
And now you’re dinner.
22. “JOHN B. And JEFF S.”
The police will ask,
“Why would three innocent pets,
Eat their owners' flesh?"
23. “DAVE & KATHY C.”
Now you understand,
Your attic holds more than bats,
As fangs graze your flesh.
24. “DOUG S.”
When you wake up bound,
Spying tray of rusty tools,
Date ends so badly.
25. “CLAYTON S.”
Your love of ‘Freddie,’
Won’t help you now that you’re lost,
In this nightmare maze.
26. “CHRISTOPHER G.”
You first watch footage,
And spot a strange face snarling,
In every frame.
27. “ANONYMOUS”
Creaking from cellar,
Is your home’s first dead owner,
And he is angry.
28. “BILL D. & JOHN S.”
You had us all fooled.
Why do neighbors keep moving?
Corpses in your yard.
29. “SHANE H.”
Your pink skin looks great,
Hanging in the sun to dry.
So many lampshades.
30. “LINDA K. & RISSA M.”
You take it too far,
When your witches circle chants,
Bringing forth demons.
31. “TINA H.”
“That trail is cursed.”
You ignore warning and hike.
Never seen again.
32. “KIM & JOHN P.”
The artichoke pie,
Has secret ingredients:
Ill-behaved children.
33. “DEBI T.”
You forget your line,
When from the stage you behold,
Ghost of your victim.
34. “BRAD D. & KRISTEN W.”
Sacto’s famous now,
For many serial kills,
No one suspects you.
35. “ELIS I.”
Your theatre training,
Won’t help with fighting werewolves,
They despise Meisner.
36. “AMY T.”
A long sleepless night,
Made worse by the glowing eyes,
Staring from corner.
37. “JENN K.-H. & CHRIS H.”
And you thought your child,
Was a hellish teen before,
The demon took hold.
38. “MARY C.”
He closes the lid.
Your yoga comes in handy,
While trapped in that box.
39. “JEN C.”
You finally crack,
From household of noisy boys,
Three heads in freezer.
40. “DAVID H.”
“That was not tofu,”
As you pull human knuckle,
From your vegan stew.
41. “ANONYMOUS”
You think of the Wharf,
As you boil in the cauldron,
Witch’s slow cackle.
42. “STEPHANIE M.”
Your stage makeup burns,
As your understudy laughs,
While your skin melts off.
43. “REID W.”
He ruined the shot,
The Extra wearing old suit,
Who now is see-through.
44. “GARY W.”
Re-read that last page,
Who wrote “I’m behind you” there?
Hot breath on your neck.
45. “LUCY E.”
On your morning run,
The grinning clown with the knife.
Is last thing you see.
46. “CATE H.”
Self-portrait has changed.
Across your painted neckline,
Someone carved red slash.
47. “AMY & KRISTEN G.-B.”
Never see the shore,
Triathalon incomplete,
Devoured by sharks.
48. “DAN D.”
Curating horror,
You’ve been practicing for years.
Body count rising.
49. “CHRIS D.”
Thought you knew zombies?
But you were no more prepared,
When they ate your face.
50. “MARC S.”
The smudge on your lens,
Shows your actor with a noose.
In one week strangled.
51. “DON S.”
Play records backwards.
Demon gives you clear commands,
“Murder them all Don."
52. “EMMA H.”
You are not surprised,
Lino cutting tools are great,
At removing flesh.
53. “PAT & SAL P.”
Serve them all turkey.
Holidays getting too loud,
Poison in stuffing.
54. “TERRI ANN, LIAM, & MICHAEL”
Son’s been acting odd.
You are not surprised to find,
His box of fingers.
55. “THE CARSON FAMILY”
Enjoying new house,
Until you find basement grave,
And its ghost owner.
56. “LEIGH G. V.”
Way back in art school,
No one knew you used the kilns,
To cremate victims.
57. “HELENA S.-C.”
Seems ironic now,
Your love of Shakespeare’s Titus,
Your tongue and hands gone.
58. "MARGRET A.”
“Minnesota nice,”
Which is why you’re never caught,
After dozen kills.
59. “ANNELIESE B.”
You got great at hair,
Due to scalping your victims,
Studying at home.
60. “MICHAEL S.”
Try to teach voice now,
That your larynx is in jar,
In first date’s basement.
61. “HELEN C.”
Hammer would be proud,
When you thrust that stake through chest,
In crocheted poncho.
62. “TODD V.”
“Experimental.”
They don’t know the half of it.
Dozens of snuff films.
63. “ANONYMOUS”
Your artist background,
Has not helped you to notice.
His portrait watching.
64. “AMY P.”
Zombies aren’t impressed,
By a classical training.
They eat your throat first.
65. “SESSUEGARRY PRODS.”
All those Irish nuns,
Come back to absolve your sins,
By taking your skin.
66. “COLETTE R.”
You love your sweet cats,
Until they decide that you,
Are the food they want.
67. “MAUREEN M.”
Ocean breeze feels good,
As you bury last remnants,
Of the evidence.
68. “TOM O.”
Your best reviewed script,
Is the one in which you write,
About all your kills.
69. “ROSE S.”
“Goblin Night” is real,
Mommy does not realize,
One lives in my room.
70. “ART H.”
Hard to say goodbye,
As we leave you at bottom,
Of glacial crevasse.
71. “DAVID D. & BRIAN P.”
During the last storm,
A shape appeared on your dock.
And now it’s inside.
72. “MELISSA M.”
Comes as no surprise,
You are at your most grounded,
While killing zombies.
73. “GREG B.”
Your fans try to warn,
As live stream takes a bad turn,
Strange man behind you.
74. “DUNCAN H.”
“This inn’s not haunted.”
But alone at night you feel,
Cold hands on your neck.
75. “DOUG S.-C.”
You wish your killer,
Wasn’t such a “Caesar" fan.
So many stab wounds.
76. “MARI L.”
“She’s so positive.”
But when finally alone,
Tortures her captives.
77. “MEGHAN B.”
Frankie seems so sweet,
But leave him alone again,
He’ll end your nine lives.
78. “MARK F.”
Eighties irony,
As you are tortured all night,
By Morrissey clone.
79. “BRIAN L.”
“Yes and” you repeat,
But wish you’d blocked this offer,
Now that you’re in crypt.
80. “RICH F.”
You sit on shoreline,
And watch your friend scream for help,
Giant fin cuts wave.
81. “AMY P. & JOE S.”
“Love this song!” you scream.
Until it tells you to kill,
All your party guests.
82. “LAURA & DAVE M.”
Gurgling last breaths,
You never should have fostered,
That one rabid dog.
83. “IDA M., JOHN G., & MEGATRON”
You seem perfect hosts,
Until problem filmmakers,
Pushed into crevasse.
84. “SHIRLEY K.”
Can’t prove it was you,
Who used your reiki powers,
To stop his heart cold.
85. “KARL K.”
You freeze on the stage,
Your dresser with the hatchet,
Waiting in the wings.
86. “WILLIAM W.”
While editing film,
You pinpoint one added frame:
Image of your death.
87. “PAUL B.”
Last bubbling thought:
"This would make a good Macbeth,”
As witches boil you.
88. “LARRY B.”
Big fan at stage door.
Then you wake up in his house,
With your feet removed.
89. “TED S.”
You’re haunted by art,
Madame X visits at night,
But she has no head.
90. “C. JAY C.”
Know you’ve gone too far,
When Ouija board starts bleeding,
And spells out your death.
91. “RICHARD W. & DAN B.”
You’re the headless ones,
When all those hens you’ve “processed,”
Come back for revenge.
92. “KENDRA L.”
It took many years.
But Jersey Devil has found,
You hiding in Maine.
93. “TINA S. & ANDY P.”
Audience amazed,
Your death scenes too convincing,
Real poison real knives.
94. “ANONYMOUS”
“Can’t get the eyes right.”
Then your drawing walks off page,
And scoops yours right out.
95. “MICHAEL & BRIANNA T.”
“My kids are possessed.”
Your joke is funny until,
They both levitate.
96. “DENISE D.”
Your love of nature,
Ends tonight as you gaze on,
Bigfoot at your tent.
97. “THE CAZENAVE FAMILY”
Apartment living,
It’s hard to hide a body.
Wish you had a yard.
98. “LAURA H.”
Bad day for sailing,
As tentacles pull you down,
Wish you’d stayed on shore.
99. "TONY C."
Working on the house,
Disturbed to find that child’s toy,
In secret crawlspace.
100. “JACQUIE J.P.”
“Teacher’s pet,” they tease.
They don’t know of the bad ones,
You trapped in dungeon.
101. “JULIA S.”
Swimming off Maine coast,
Never saw the giant eel,
Creeping up behind.
102. “EM D.”
“No, they make great pets!”
Yet they find your hollowed corpse,
Filled with sated rats.
103. “MARGARET & BRUCE J.”
Ghosts you feared on trip,
Have come back to you at night,
Welsh accents whisper.
104. “ALLISON B.”
“Rustling woke me.”
Thousands of spider eggs hatch,
And wait in mattress.
105. “JOHN R.”
Self-portrait photo,
“Whose is that face behind me?”
Just don’t turn around.
106. “KATHY M.”
New flavor coming!
The secret ingredient?
In-law’s salty blood.
107. “NIKKI W.”
You try to explain,
As aliens dissect you,
“But I adore space!”
108. “STEPH M.”
While pointing out quartz,
Students suddenly eaten,
By sinkhole creature.
109. “JACQUELINE S.”
“The house is just fine.”
But the monster that we film,
Waits for your return.
110. “ANONYMOUS”
What a crazy year!
So when the werewolves attack,
Barely raise a brow.
111. “MARY K.”
Should never have cast,
Those students with glowing eyes,
Now your head is prop.
112. “ANONYMOUS”
Police realize,
You killed “Coney Island Girl."
Lyric confessions.
113. “KHRIS L.”
The worst audition:
“Just need to put you on tape.”
Snuff film starring you.
114. “MICHAEL M.”
When they find your skull,
With a wrench embedded deep,
We’ll know it was me.
115. “ANONYMOUS”
Teching murder scene,
Your screams are so convincing,
Real knives switched for props.
116. “LESLIE A.”
Knitting soothes your nerves,
And the needles are great for,
Piercing zombie skulls.
117. “CHRIS W.”
“Heater’s not working.”
But that icy chill you feel,
Is ghosts walking past.
118. “KARL K.”
Excitement fleeting,
When you discover new fish,
From inside its mouth.
119. “ANONYMOUS”
You hid your victims,
In handmade cups and saucers,
Pretty bone ash glaze.
120. “TWILL W.”
When you’re in restraints,
And monster leans to whisper,
Won’t be so funny.
121. “COREY A."
"You must re-record.”
You listen back to your takes,
And hear demon’s voice.
122. “BRAD J.”
From inside the cave,
Unknown substance covers quartz,
And then you see fangs.
123. “CHRISTOPHER T.”
“Try this new dessert.”
You taste without suspicion,
Chocolate corpse lips.
124. “ABUNDANCE B."
“What are these charges,
For bottles of cyanide?”
As you sip your tea.
125. “KELLY M.”
As you freeze to death,
Abandoned on the glacier,
“No one liked my film?”
126. “GABRA Z.”
Your voice has vanished,
But not because of sore throat:
Vampire biting.
127. “ALEX G.”
The helping hands filmed,
Were unlike those which now rip,
At your tender flesh.
128. “BAYTA G.”
Lover of travel,
Ironic to find your head,
On bag carousel.
129. “TIM J.”
Check the drone footage.
Something huge running through woods,
Directly at you.
130. “NADIA B.”
You’re so resourceful,
As their bones boil to jelly,
“Think I’ll make lip balm.”
131. “AARON W.”
Filming in jungle,
That bite on your leg gets worse,
Then spider eggs hatch.
132. “SANDER C.”
You hear some screaming,
In feedback from your guitar,
Ghost backup singer.
133. “JENNIFER F.”
No one suspects you,
When many corpses are found,
With tiny dog bites.